How do I give a blowjob or handjob?

So I'm talking to this guy, well talking dirty with this guy, and we're going to hook up. He mentioned blow job and hand job, but I am clueless, HELP! I'm up for hooking up, just don't know what to do! - Holly from Chicago, IL

Well good thing you came (easy joke) to the professionals (vince loves giving blowjobs) … seriously though (he’s super good at it) … but really…

Being overwhelmed at the prospect of intimate relations is completely normal. Whether you know what you’re doing or not doesn’t always matter. Some peoples “moves” might jive with one partner, and fall completely short with another, so there’s always a small risk for incompatibility when the shit really starts going down, just a heads up (also, too easy … man, I am in fuego today!).

As for personal technique there’s really no right answer. People like certain things, and having an open line of communication about what works and what doesn’t is super important. Don’t get it twisted though, this is not dinner table conversation, there are ways to playfully, and seductively, ask whats grooving and what ‘s not before you start getting into “heavy petting” (that’s what senior citizens call it … FYI).

side note : Lil bit of contact with some breathy questioning should do the trick … dudes love coy and sexy wrapped into one … it’s almost too easy … you’ll see. Just open your mouth (giggity) and he’ll tell you.

Final thought … Be pro-BJ cause he’ll totally f’n appreciate it, and stay away from handjobs for the most part unless he really likes it when you do that. Dudes are seasoned vets at the jerk-off whereas you are not. It’s like him looking at you and saying “hey, I know you put on your makeup every fucking day, but how bout I take a stab at it?” You WILL NOT be as good at it as he is … and it’ll take a while before you figure out exactly how to maneuver his junk to make him really love it all the time. Mouth works … most often … so be Pro-BJ.

love love love. good luck!


I’ve got two words for ya sweetheart: internet porn.

Honestly, with all the free porn out there nowadays, I’m still aghast at how many people are clueless when it comes to sex.  I mean, I get it…people get nervous, they get self-conscious, etc…but on the actual sexual acts info/knowledge, the world is our oyster!  If you really don’t have any clue WHAT to do or HOW to do it, just reference any free porn site and watch the pro’s at work! Don’t get me wrong, alot of porn is pretty much scripted and definitely not the way it happens in real life (unless you’re dating a pornstar, then the phrase “making love” is meaningless to them anyways) so you’ll have to do a fair amount of searching through multiple vids to get a good idea of what’s really going on.

You should probably discount any video that can be mistaken for something you’d see on NatGeo; i.e. if the woman in question resembles a hyena that was just tossed a stick of pepperoni, then you might want to move on to the next clip.  Secondly, for starters, don’t even get into any of the weird fetish videos for ideas for ANYTHING.  You’re definitely not ready…trust me.  Lastly (and this just might be the most IMPORTANT tip [no pun intended] when searching for quality informational sex videos), if the actors are kissing, and not just sloppily licking each others face like rabid dogs, take as much from the clip as you can! In my career of watching porn, I’ve noticed that in almost every video where the couple is actually making out in a sensual manner, the sex most closely resembles something that would be akin to what I’d have myself at home; not some crazy coke induced orgy type of stuff.

That being said, the more intimate the video, the better it is to learn from in my opinion.  But if time is at a premium, then you’ll get the jist from just about any video out there…minus 2 Girls, 1 Cup.

Happy humping!!! :)


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