What’s the best way to tell your partner that the sex sucks?

- Steph from Philadelphia, PA

Well, I don’t think theres an easy way around this one…especially when the male ego is located in their pants. In my opinion telling your parenter the sex sucks will make them feel insecure and less like a man. Think about it. Guys think about sex every 52 seconds, thats more than once a minute. Its just what they do, its who they are… especially when their bodies are bathed in testosterone. Maybe, its not so much the sex sucks….maybe its just plain old BORING. Okay, yeah-that means the sex sucks, but seriously… how hard is it to put a stick in a hole?!? Same place, same position, same 30 seconds of “bliss” would make any women think twice.

Personally, I wouldn’t tell my lavish lover to their face, but instead showing them how ‘not to suck’ in the bedroom. As women we are sometimes very confusing and difficult to deal with(except me of course). Face it, guys cant read our minds. If they could, we would all be walking around with permanent smiles glued to our faces.

The Cosmo Kama Sutra

Instead of bruising the male ego, give him a helping hand. Literally. You know what you like and how you like it. Be vocal in the bedroom, express your likes and dislikes, tell him what feels good and where, explore eachothers bodies. (Helpful Hint-Avoid scary hairy places;) Take his hand and place it on yours and give him the “How To Guide”. Another way to spice things up in the bed is taking a trip to your local Studio 21 for sex games, toys, and sex positions books. ( I would definitely recommend “The Cosmo Kama Sutra- 77 Mind-blowing Sex Positions Hand Book…it even comes with Erotic instructions for you Rookies;) Believe me, there will be no more complaints on either end.


Oh man, we’ve all been there haven’t we?  You meet someone, you have a great time with them, you’re head over heels for them and then you get to the bedroom and the sex is as shaky as a coke head with Parkinson’s.  This is usually a rough spot because what ends up happening is you immediately shrug off the fact that the sex sucks and you convince yourself that either: it’ll get better the more you do it, or even worse, you convince yourself that it’s you that is causing it to suck!

That’s bullshit and you know it!  The sex sucks because the other person isn’t doing what you’d like them to be doing!  And if they think the sex sucks, it’s because you’re not doing what they want you to be doing.  Stop lying to each other and avoiding the obvious.  Tell each other what needs to be said!  Sit them down, pop open a bottle of wine or a bag of M&M’s (depending how old you are) and tell your partner “Hey, I dig you…but when we hit the bedroom we’re not blowing the roof off the place like I’d like to be“.  Tell them that you’ve had mind blowing sex before, but sex wasn’t all that mattered so that particular relationship didn’t last!  However, now that you’ve found somebody who you truly enjoy, you want to experience that mind blowing sex with them too.  Tell them that you want to please them better than they’ve ever been pleased before and you want to be pleased better than you’ve ever been pleased before.  You say “here’s a list of the shit I like, get me your list and we’ll start crossing shit off one by one…I’ll work over time to make sure I hit these goals…I’m an overachiever, you like oral I’ll start doing tongue flexes at the gym; you like a finger, I’ll give you a fist!”  Whatever it is, just make sure that they know that you’re just as dedicated to it as they are.

If after this, the sex still sucks.  Cut ‘em loose.  It’s never going to get better and you’ll eventually be looking instead of trying.  If you break up you can always remain friends while you’re awesome fucking someone else…but if you stay with her, you can’t fuck anybody else while you’re awesome friending her.  Be fair and honest to yourself!

Of course, that’s just the two cents of a broke man!


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