My boyfriend treats me like “one of the guys”. Is he just not into me anymore?

I've been seeing a guy for 1.5yrs and over time he has been treating me like one of the guys instead of his gf. He generally acts like I'm his Bro most of the time. Is this how guys get "comfortable" in a relationship, or are these passive-aggressive signs that he's just not into me anymore? - NotABro from Las Vegas, NV

Men. So unpredictable with their actions…sometimes…but this doesn’t seem to be the case. Before you go any further you have to start asking yourself a few questions. How long has the behavior and mentality towards the relationship been going on? Second, you have to ask yourself, is this the kind of guy you started seeing in the beginning? Does he act this way around his other friends? Did he ever mention this sort of behavior occurring with his previous ex’s? How old are you and how old is he? And finally, do you see a future in this relationship?

The reason I ask these questions is because you can usually better gauge a problem and resolve it when you have all the pieces of the puzzle before trying to make sense of it all. First, I asked how long because if this is a sudden change, that may be an indicating factor toward bigger problems. Sometimes people act different when they are trying to hide something, when they have cheated, or when they realized they may no longer feel the same about something. If the change is gradual, it may just very well be who he is, and his true colors might be showing at this point.

Second, I asked if he has always been this way, because sometimes we don’t want to admit to ourselves the ugly truth of the matter until it becomes a problem, or irritates us, or becomes a trait you can no longer tolerate. If he is like this with his friends, and the friendships have been around for a while, chances are this may be who he is and he wants you to see that. You can always address this issue with him in reference to his previous relationships, and if he says it’s normal, it may be normal. But if it’s too aggressive for your liking, you may want to reconsider everything and really think about what you want.

Finally I ask about age and the length of the relationship in terms of a future. Age is a huge factor. Remember women mature mentally at a rate that is far more accelerated than men (in a biological sense). But keep in mind that if you are young and in high school, this may be a temporary relationship and a stepping stone in the dating world. Hate to say it but a lot of high school relationships don’t last past freshman year of college. If you are young, remember that your life is still full of choices and options (especially if this is not making you happy). College is generally where people meet their wives and husbands or life partners. Or their significant other. But if you have some age and life experience on you, you may want to take time, think about what makes you happy, and consider having some down time with communication between the two of you.

Be smart about it. And be truthful with yourself. A lot of people don’t want to think they invested so much time in a relationship only to watch it end suddenly. The truth is, time has no relevance to happiness in a relationship. This one is up to you to decide what is more important. The 1.5 years, or you being about to tolerate this for lifetime. Think about it.


Seriously, you can’t just go on like normal when he’s treating you like one of the guys.  There has to be an element of chivalry and a “want” to impress in a relationship.  That is what keeps a relationship going is when the other person wants to be a better version of themselves because of YOU!  If he’s burping in your face and asking you to pull his finger…maybe he doesn’t understand the wonderful person you are and what he needs to do to keep you in his life.

Ask yourself a couple questions: do you prohibit him from being with his friends? do you make him feel guilty even though you tell him it’s ok for him to hang with his friends? Did you stop wearing make up, taking care of yourself, changing things up about yourself since you first met him?  I’m wondering if you both got comfortable and the means to impress each other have been tossed out the window…  I’m not trying to give you a complex, i just want to make sure we’re thinking of both sides.  It’s so easy to say “him, him, him” when trying to find what change, but be sure to look at the bigger picture.  And, if it is just him that’s changed, then speak up about it.  Complaining is what gets stuff done in life, let your voice be heard.  What good is sitting there quiet going to do for you or your relationship?  Next time he does that, say to him: “Hey, try to remember that I’m a lady and I deserve to be treated like one.  I love your personality and I that’s one of the main reasons I’m attracted to you, but if I wanted to be treated like one of the guys then I would be your friend and not your GIRLFRIEND!”

I mean, it’s none of my business either way, but if this guy’s idea of a dream girl is a dude with a p*ssy…give him a wiener tap & tell him to look elsewhere.  Speak up and be treated like the wonderful lady that you are!  You deserve nothing but the best for yourself!