My boyfriend won’t propose and I want to get married. What can I do?

Dear SYHAG, I am 27 years old, have been seriously dating a guy for 6 years, and things have been going swimmingly! Admittedly, we had a rocky start to our relationship with some monogamy issues (I was cold and distant, and he was horny and drunk), but everything has been ironed out, and we have been smooth sailing ever since! Not to be cliche here, but my clock is tick tick ticking away, and he is showing ZERO signs of interest in marriage! It's to the point where I would propose to HIM except he has clearly expressed in the past that he thinks girls proposing to guys is "tacky" and "emasculating". I've tried subtle hints, but it's not getting through! We love each other to bits and are in it for the long haul, but I want to get married! What can I do?? - Becca - Becca from Santa Fe, NM

Well… this doesn’t sound pleasant at all.  Fact of the matter is, it sounds like your guy doesn’t want to get married.  It might be a generalized statement, or maybe he just doesn’t want to get married to you.  It is one of the two, and the reality is, this is something you need to flat out just ask him about.  DON’T BE SLY, DON’T BE COY, DON’T BE CUTE!!! You need to just flat out ask him!!!! You might not like what you are going to hear, but the truth is hard to swallow more often than not.  I hope that you are being honest with yourself as well.  I find that we as women tend to lie to ourselves about how great things are, when the reality is far from it.  If the guy doesn’t want to marry you, YOU NEED TO FIND SOMEONE WHO DOES!!!!  If marriage is what you want, do not compromise your happiness!  It is your right to seek happiness and be happy.  I truly do hope that you find it.  And if you don’t, then I suggest you move onward and keep an open mind and open heart. Remember marriage only works if both of you are on the same page!!!!

 


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