How can I get a guy’s attention without looking like a skank?

So, I'm a sophomore in high school. And all the guys are going for the girls that wear shirts that show their tits. I don't do that so I go unnoticed. How can I get their attention without looking like a skank? - Maddie from Kalamazoo, MI

okay … this kinda sucks.

There’s no way around it … in high school, even middle school (frighteningly enough), showing the goods will get you all the attention. Even though the desired attention is no where near as good as it’s made out to be, it’s still wanted, so it’s understandable to be bummed when you don’t have it. If you want people to give you the time of day, you gotta up your personal ante kiddo. You’ve gotta be down with not lessening your worth, then no one will expect you to cheapen yourself. Be aware of what’s really being put on the table by these chicks. Dudes might be drooling a bit, but that slut is just toying with them … she’s toying with everyone, just to make herself feel better about not really liking what she sees in the mirror. It’s a petty and obvious game that’s been played for centuries. Women will eternally never think it’s good enough, and in turn, will compensate by compromising their public image …

it’s so stupid, and so easy … and guess what? so is she. That’s not what you want to be. So don’t bother. Anyone who expects different of you does not like you for you, and you shouldn’t want their attention anyways. (I feel like my grandmother said that to me at one point … but there was less boob involved)

Logically … in a few years, all you’re going to remember about ol’ tits McFlashington is that her boobs were out all the time. Not that she was rad, or fun, or nice … NO … it’ll be all tits all the time. Really solid credentials you’ve built yourself young lady! “oh yeah … i remember you … all tits … yeah that was cool … wait? what the hell happened to those things?” don’t worry, that joke will be funny at your high school reunion.

Trying to say you’re not getting noticed because your tits aren’t hanging out is like me saying I’m not getting noticed because I don’t show enough ball. Alright, maybe not completely, but I feel like you’re using it as a cop out, a crutch almost. Fact of the matter could just be, you’re not that pretty. Which, shit, I can’t tell you how many times I’d look at myself in the mirror in high school and think “wow, nobody will ever date this.”

Little gut hanging over my already “husky” pants. Bowl haircut. A couple teeth in the front that I’m positive were too big for my face at the time. Godawful sweaters and shirts that I’d wear. I legitimately wore a Tasmanian Devil tshirt to school…on multiple occasions. It was part of my weekly tshirts. An chubby cheeked, sophomore in high school crammed into an XL tshirt sporting a title that said “Taz-Panic” mocking the sinking ship scene from Titanic. I was not that pretty. However, I was a male in high school and you’d better bet your ass I had my crushes. One of them, the chick I thought was absolutely the best looking girl in school and in my grade. My problem, confidence!

It’s going to come down to the same thing in life as it does in relationships, and as 1980s Mr. T public-service-announcment-esque as it may sound, you HAVE to believe in yourself.

Here’s my flashback story for you. (Cue the foggy vignette around the screen) I was lucky enough to have grown up with a girl who was friends with the group of friends in which this girl hung out. I’d change her name for the story, but screw it, her name was Lori. So somehow we all ended up going to the movies one night, a group of like 15 of us. Almost all of us dropped off by our parents. I tried to get in to sit next to her during the movie, you know, where you do that thing where you start examining before you even walk into the theater who’s in front of you and behind you, then as everyone is going to sit in a row, you pretend there’s gum on the seat so she’ll be the first girl in the new row you’re creating and BAM! Sitting next to each other in the movie.

Mind you, sophomore, no first kiss at this point for this guy. During the movie we end up holding hands. That really good kind of hand holding too where it means so much just to be touching that person, not like it is when you get older and as soon as they grab your hand you start thinking about other things they could be doing with said hand. Which, JESUS, sophomore in high school?! You’re not even old enough to be on this site? Is this illegal? I feel weird now. I’ll just continue with a very PG version of the rest of this.

Anyway, movie’s over, we’re all standing around in the lobby and a buddy says something about her kissing me. She shies away at first, but then she does it. Straight up kiss on the lips. Immediately after which, her dad pulls up to pick her up and she’s gone. I chalked the whole thing up to, “oh, she was just doing that to be nice”. Never once had the confidence that she actually liked me. The long and short of THIS, you want to get noticed, have some confidence. Know that you don’t have to show off everything you have just to get some guy to notice you. You’ve got a lot more going for you and don’t have to be the girl dressing sexy in 10th grade. Besides, that’s just weird. You’re too young. Don’t do it.

All in all, to get noticed, talk to people. Crack a funny joke in class. Ask too many questions, OR, my personal favorite to make sure the cutest girl in class knew who I was, show up late to class! Habitually if need be. Works like a charm. THEN, you have to ask that cute boy in class, “hey, what’d I miss?”