How can I tell if he’s really into me?

I've been talking to this guy who's in a band. well I think. that's the problem. I know he's in a band and I see girls talking to him all the time, but I can't help but think he's a human too. how can I tell if he's really into me? - Anon from IL


Here’s the deal chick-a-dee.  When men are into you, all the tell-tale signs are there.  It’s almost as obvious as symptoms of a common STD. . . kidding!!!  But really, the signs are there.  A guy will generally go out of his way to see you, talk to you, text message you, e-mail you, etc.  He will make the time to put life on pause and talk to you about whatever it is that might be happening.  He will want to include you in his activities from time to time and NO, I am not talking about bedroom activities!  He’ll make eye contact, or find ways to touch you in a flirting sense.  He will look at you in a way that might make you feel butterflies, and I know you know what I’m talking about.  We’ve all been there.  Bottom line:  He will make it a point to make you feel more special and give you a different kind of attention than the others.  But this isn’t an excuse for him to treat you like shit and have you as one of his side girls!!!  Just know that with most musicians I know, there are several women who appear in the picture at the same time.  Just be aware that it’s very common, but who knows, this guy might be different and very very very sincere.  Try and fish for a compliment from him just to test those waters and see his response.  But don’t go fishing too much.  Or, if you want to be really out there, be blunt about it.  Flat out ask him how he feels.  If he seems mutual in the feeling department then you have nothing to worry about.  If he isn’t, then just know this might be an attention-whoring phase he needs to grow out of.


Girls will always have a force stronger than nature when it comes to being attracted to the band member.  There’s a reason the term ‘groupie’ was coined.  Music is a universal language, and everyone pretty much speaks it, so don’t get overwhelmed when people talk to him about the one thing they share in common.  It’s natural to feel that twinge of jealousy.  And while he might not be a super star in the music department or have a multimillion dollar contract lined up, women will still swoon over the dreamy abilities they admire.  And just like a moth to the flame, he will love the extra attention.  I mean, who doesn’t? We all love a little ego booster.

My advice:  Just take this one step at a time, and hopefully you’ll become an inspiration in his next song.  Good luck!!!