How often should you see the person you are dating?

My current boyfriend and I are in a committed relationship but have been together for less than a year and he thinks it's a real problem that I don't want to spend time with him every day. It's not that I don't enjoy spending time with him, it's just that, well, I have shit to do and if it were up to me we would probably only hang out 3-5 times a week. He thinks that makes me withdrawn, but I think he's being needy. What do you guys think? - Angela from Boston, MA

Hello – it sounds like you have a case of “my boyfriends insecure” on your hands.  He likes you SOOOOO much and wants to spend every second with you!  It’s ok, so he’s got a major case of puppy love going on…it’s nothing to be afraid of.  He’s got a 24-hour YOU boner, how awesome is that?  Take it as a compliment and keep up with how you “feel”.  It you only feel like seeing him 3-5 days a week, then he’ll have to get used to it.  The real bitch of it will come within the next 6-months when he finally becomes accustomed to seeing you only a few times and wants to start being with his friends more…because then you’ll be the one that wants to spend more time with him.  It’s that vicious circle of wanting what you can’t have, even though you still have each other.  And that’s not an insult, it’s just the facts of the relationship – it takes a while for two people to sync up on the same “I want to be with you” system.  If you do end up aligning, it will be great – if you don’t, then say goodbye to Mr. Cling and go out and do your own thing!  Either way, deal with his neediness for a bit and he’ll eventually mellow back out.  Even the best porno loses its impact after a while, his boner will eventually go soft and you guys will be back to normaltown.

Keep in mind that I don’t know sh*t!

VC


Pinterest