my boyfriend of nearly 6 years won’t propose to me help?

hi I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 years and would consider us to be very serious. whenever I try and talk about marriage he doesn't like it and tells me to stop focusing on it, I love him so much and know he is the one for me why after all this time won't he ask me if he love's me the way he says he does which is unconditionally then I don't understand. - sophie harding - brown from London, UK

Alright honey, let’s break down your situation here before we start worrying about the proposal itself. You say that you consider your relationship of 6 years to be very serious. Let’s say that one more time—YOU consider a relationship of 6 years to be serious. I would hope it is more than consideration you have at this point seeing as how long you have been together. That statement should be a declaration of a known fact, that you are very serious and you both know that.

You say he tells you he loves you unconditionally—he is lying. He loves you unconditionally under his rules of what is acceptable in your relationship, and apparently talking about marriage is not one of those things. If he is telling you to stop focusing on marriage, it’s because he isn’t.

What would that marriage look like anyways? You being told what you can and can’t talk about, wondering if he is emotionally invested, and all aspects of life being played out on his timeline, probably isn’t the healthy, loving relationship you are hoping for here. Then again, maybe that’s your thing.

But damn— if you want children, is that the story you want to be telling them? I sure fucking hope not, because that is an awful story. I say forget the proposal. Shit, forget the relationship. Run. Run as fast as you can and one day you might turn around and see someone way better than this guy is chasing you. And I mean that in the good way—not the scary, rapey kind of way.


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