Good advice vs. bad advice.

So you guys are always putting good advice in your videos, but what are some of your examples of REALLY terrible advice? - Chloe from Genoa, IL

“That Affliction t-shirt makes you look bad ass, bro!” But really…

In the case of terrible RELATIONSHIP advice however, I would imagine these examples would suffice:

1) “It’s TOTALLY fine to hook up with other people on the side when you’re in a relationship…I mean, you’re not married yet, RIGHT?!”

Wrong.  This is common bro-speak for, “I don’t know what the term ‘relationship’ even means, but I get lonely on Tuesday nights so I want someone who will come over and help me apply self-tanner”.  There’s tons of people out there like this nowadays who just don’t understand the concept of being exclusive; a.k.a. not being a ho-bag.  This is definitely NOT ok.  If anyone ever tells you this, you should instantly realize they still haven’t gotten out of the college, “I bang anything with boobs and two legs”, phase and probably aren’t the best people to take any sort of advice from period…especially when it comes to relationships.

2) “You need to find someone who has all the same interests as you…you’re just not gonna get along if you don’t like the same things.”

Wrong.  Now, I know that it’s always easier to break the ice and get to know someone better based upon similar likes and dislikes, but COME ON!  Unless you’re THAT narcissistic that you’d want to date someone exactly like yourself, this would just become extremely boring in my opinion.  Experiencing new and unchartered territory within a relationship makes it that much more interesting and definitely helps keep things fresh.  You just have to stop being so content as an introvert and start opening up to new things.  But if you’re all about the whole doing the same things all the time with your subservient partner deal, then please be my guest…you ridiculously boring hermit, you.

3) “All of your friends are settling down and having kids…it’s about time you do the same.”

SO wrong.  Some people still adhere to the iconic 50’s version of how one should lead their life: go to college, get a job, get married, & start popping out babies like candy from a PEZ dispenser. Now, for alot of people, this is just the way it happens, regardless of if it was planned or not.  For the majority of us that don’t fall into this demographic, it’s just not how things work anymore.  Nothing against my friends who are married w/ children, but for me personally, I couldn’t imagine what it would be like at this stage in my life.  Not that I don’t want any of these things someday, it’s just not a close stop on my future path of life just yet.  Trust me, there’s been certain people that have definitely tried to force this upon me, but to no avail.  You have to do what’s right for YOU.  Just because people in your family have shot out 4 kids by the ripe old age of 25 doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily your destiny as well.  Do what makes you happy, and when things are right, you’ll know.

Hopefully these few examples showcased some of the advice NOT to follow going forward…especially regarding Affliction t-shirts…you are not a UFC fighter, nor do you know a guy who knows a guy who got beat up in a bar by the cousin of Brock Lesnar…hay zeus, ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

Bad advice?  Ummm, just about everything could be bad advice, but it all depends.  They say the smart man learns from another man’s mistakes, but when someone starts off with, “yeah, this one time I tired that with my girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband and we turned out fine,” the very opposite may happen for you.  Remember that everyone has different experiences and that is key.  When someone tells you to try something and you have a gut instinct about it going wrong, chances are that gut of yours is telling you right while your friend is telling you wrong.  It’s pretty simple and pretty easy to get the hang of feeling out the bad advice from the good.  Bad advice generally doesn’t have good intention.  Most of it comes from one man’s want for a personal gain.  It has no means to assist another person in a positive way.

Example 1:  “I think you should have sex tomorrow.  I mean if you haven’t done it yet, you should now. Everyone is doing it!  Come on _____ and I have already and I’m completely fine with it.”

Here is a perfect situation in which that is NEVER the case.  Not everyone out there is having sex!  Take my word for it.  If you’re a virgin, or even just started to see a new partner who you could be sleeping with (if you’ve already had sex but have moved on to someone new), the case is that everyone does things at different speeds.  Some people might be the kind to dive right in and say let’s grab the condoms, the lube, the toys, and try new things.  While others may just want to stay simple, keep things light, and take their time with how they feel about sharing their body.  Advice on having sex is never 100% good advice.  If anyone is telling you who to sleep with, how to have sex, or when to have sex, take only whatever parts that might be useful to your experience with you and leave the rest at the door.  Remember, sex is to be consenting and when two people are ready.  The ready aspect of it is entirely up to you and NOT anyone else!  EVER – regardless of that popular girl in school might be saying.  Just watch this episode and take some notes.

Example 2:  “I totally think you should spend that money.  If I was you I would do it.  Besides, they will never even notice just how much went missing from the checking/savings.”

Anything that involves losing money the two of you don’t have… let’s face it, a gamble!  And when you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, who might be just as careless or over protective of their money, it’s never a good sign.  They say that statistically the lack of money is one of the leading causes of breaking up, separation and even divorce!  If money is already an issue in your relationship and it has caused you problems, you may want to seek financial help or assistance, and not the advice of a friend who isn’t doing anything other than telling you how to spend it.

Example 3:  Whatever they don’t know won’t hurt them! If you cheated once, what makes you think she’s gonna catch you?  Just play it off like nothing wrong between the two of you. She/He will never have to know.

Cheating is never a good piece of advice.  And let’s face it, we as women try to justify just about everything.  We will say things like, “oh he did it to me before, so it’s only fair.”  Or, “he was never good to me, I know he’s cheating on me, so he deserves it.”  Bottom line with this one, it is NEVER good advice when cheating is a topic being addressed.  The only good advice you can ever get from someone that isn’t justification, is to COME CLEAN ABOUT IT!  If you’re cheating on someone (be sure to catch our next episode), why the eff are you in a relationship????  And if you’re looking for advice on how to justify the cheating, don’t even waste your time!!!  Just admit to yourself that you may not love that person or want to be with them anymore. There is nothing wrong with the truth.  I couldn’t tell you how many countless times a few of my closest friends came to me with stories about seeing men who were cheating on their wives and girlfriends with them.  It made me completely disgusted to know there were men and women out there who only cared about themselves and not the others.  They gambled with the emotions, the relationships, and the future’s of the families they were involved with. In my opinion the worst part was the people who were cheating had children as young as 6 months to 2 years old.  Cheating is never a good topic to discuss and ask advice on.  And if you’re on the other side of the fence and you’re asking a friend what to do if someone cheated on you… let’s just say you need to really think that one through.  Taking someone back can be both good and bad, but the trust more than 99% of the time is gone, going, gone.  Be careful about the advice someone is giving to you if you’ve been cheated on, and only follow what your heart tells you.  Unless it involves your safety and well being… then you just need to do what is best for you.

Other bits of bad advice:

-Have a second, third, fourth, etc drink – if you’re already drunk

-Get him/her this gift she’ll totally love it – you may not have the money and they may not even like the gift

-This birth control totally worked for me – some birth control can make women really sick, while others don’t even work at all

-We don’t have to use a condom – HOLY SHIT RUN FOR THE F****** HILLS!!! DID YOU MISS OUR STD EPISODE???  Not to mention pregnancy is another real possibility!

-When to tell her you love her – Ummm, we just did an episode on when to tell her (for the first time) you love her

-If you treat her/him like a prince/princess they will be good to you – If you kiss someone’s ass their entire stint in a relationship, NO ONE will respect you!  There is a fine line between being nice and kissing someone’s ass. More times than not they will walk all over you and constantly expect the world from you, and let’s face it, we are human and that is not possible

-Don’t let him/her go out with _____, keep him/her in the house with you when they call and ask to go out – Speaking from personal experience, there is a woman I know right now who is doing everything in her will power to control a friend of mine, and it won’t be too long before she will realize that you can NEVER control someone in a relationship.  People will eventually do what they want, whether you like it or not

Look, bottom line if there is a specific piece of advice you have a question on, do a follow up to this in the comment section below.  We’ll be more than happy to respond again!!!