What are the things that men look for in a woman?

What are the things that men look for in a woman? Like things that girls should do to get guys attention without having to do the horizontal tango. I know that all male humans have different things that they like, but there's gotta be those common traits that they all like. Help? - Meg S. from Springfield, IL

Help is on the way Meggers!

I can completely sympathize with how you feel.  You’re trying to put yourself out there for someone to notice and take interest (albeit in a non-skankerriffic manner), but alas, to no avail.  It’s a tough dating world out there, for sure! BUT, before I get into a few key things that I think a good hearted, genuine duder will be looking for, I’d like to touch on the topic of the KIND of duder you’re looking to attract in the first place.  Because my dear, both of these things go hand-in-hand.  You can attract as many guys to you as you want, but will you really want them back? Let’s take a look at some options here…

“You’ve already mentioned not wanting to sleep around”

You’ve already mentioned not wanting to have to sleep around for guys to notice you, and let me be the first to say, KUDOS! That whole path of getting attention through sexual manipulation will lead you to even more difficulty dating in the future along with alot of emotional hardships…not to mention the STD clinic on multiple occasions.  So we’ve got the  non-manwhore who appreciates you and not just your body checked off our list.  Next, let’s think about this dream guy of yours and what else you would want HIM to value for dating you, because let’s face it; YOU’RE #1 here…not all these skeeze ball dudes that don’t value your already awesome traits.

Maybe you’re wicked smart? Maybe you love to play music? Maybe you have a totally bitchin’ mullet??? Etc…The list goes on and on! There are literally TONS of different personality traits that can catch possible suitors eyes…it’s all a matter of what YOU are looking for in a particular gent.  There’s always going to have to be some common ground between you and your beau, or else, well you just wouldn’t get a long now, would ya?! But at the same time, you don’t want to place too much emphasis on just one individual characteristic, solely for the purpose of leading him into a relationship.  It’s going to have a be a balance of all of your traits that will attract him.

I know I didn’t give you a specific list of traits that all guys like…and the reason being because every guy is different…to an extent! Outside of complete chauvanistic pigs, every man has his own list of traits that he looks for in a woman.  It’s up to you to decide what kind of guy you’re looking for…and hey, who knows, maybe someday you’ll meet the one who has you on their list! I never said I’d give you the golden ticket Meg, but I can sure as hell point you in the direction of the Chocolate Factory 🙂

Well speaking from personal experience they look for several things.  Some of them can be worn, while others can be presented through action and personality.  I’m going to break this one up into a few different categories.  Take whatever applies to you and leave the rest.


Every woman has something physical that makes them self-confident.  What’s your trait?  If you have a great pair of legs, killer eyes, amazing hair, great breasts, or an ass that puts jeans to shame, etc – USE THOSE ASSETS! Accent them in tasteful ways.  Do NOT accent in a way that screams, ‘hi I want to sleep with you now.’  I love my eyes.  So I learned how to do makeup that accented them and it wound up getting me voted Best Eyes in high school (when that sort of thing mattered to me).  I also appreciate my smile so I tend to do my best to smile a lot.  Like I said, find a physical feature you are proud of and use it! 

I personally look at old movies stars that screamed sex appeal.  It doesn’t mean to be like Audrey Hepburn, Greta Garbo, or Grace Kelly, but to take a cue as to why they were considered attractive for their time.  They didn’t dress like sluts on screen (well maybe Marilyn Monroe showed off a lot of skin for her time), but they gave off a sensation to men that drew them in.  These women didn’t have their names blasted in tabloids with scandalous headlines like:  Slutty Audrey Photographed Falling Out Of Shirt.  They had a certain level of CLASS.  It seems as though this generation is lacking it!


Do you have a strong personality for being outgoing or easy to talk to?  Are you’re well educated on a certain topic?  Music, art, movies, sports, video games, nature, history, etc.  Pick a topic or something that you have passion for.  People like to learn new information, ideas, opinions, etc. if you can present them in a fascinating way.  Think of that boring high school teacher and don’t be way!!!!  Boring = turn off.  Find a topic you might have in common and go from there.

Men like women who can start a conversation before they do.  They like a woman who displays self-confidence.  But be careful with this one – too much and they will be running towards the door.  Men do not want to feel threatened by someone who is over self-confident.  Nothing is more of a turn off than when self-confidence becomes arrogance.  THIS DOES NOT MEAN TO PLAY STUPID EITHER IF YOU’RE SMARTER THAN THEY ARE!  Do you want to date someone of a lesser intelligence than you?  Remember men respect women who can hold their ground, and you should do the same.  Be playful, smart, fun, ‘one of the boys’, and I’m sure you’ll get someone’s attention sooner than you expect.