What can I do “special” for my boyfriend’s birthday?

I've been dating a guy for a while and he's a really awesome person and a great boyfriend! I want to do something... special... for him for his birthday (we're all adult here, right? Clearly "special" in the vein of sexually) and I was wondering if you had any ideas from a guys perspective. - Caity from Bangor, ME

Sometimes, it’d be impossible for us to make up some of the questions so for this…awesome opportunity, I say thank you. Now, let’s get down to what it takes to conjure up a great evening and getting a little birthday sex.

#1) Give It Some Time

Old Alarm Clock

Anticipation = Awesome

Sure you could have him come over, throw him down on the bed and go right at it. Hell, maybe you don’t even make it to the bed…those times are fun too. But we’re planning something “special” here, and as with all great things, they come to those who wait. Anticipation is going to be half the fun. It’s like those nights when you might go hit up a club, or you’re going to a wedding together. You both look so damn good beforehand, and throughout the night you’re just staring at each other ecstatic to get them home later. THAT is what we’re going for here.

So yes, you’re thinking sexually here, but you’re going to need to make a night of it. I’m not talking candles all over the room, though that is a nice touch…though, it is also a fire hazard…though, hmmm, I guess you could get kind of kinky with the candles too. Dammit! Losing my train of thought.

#2) Make the Night Interesting

Alright, so yeah, make a night of it, but classy. Maybe you get some tickets to a show or something, and do dinner. Maybe get a little dressed up just to help hype that anticipation…something where you’re spending time together, in a non-sexually conducive environment but where you’re starting to churn some of that desire.

#3) Extended Foreplay

Dammit, I really wanted number 4 to be foreplay. Actually, screw it, ya know what? This is my damn question and I’ll answer it any way I want.

#4) Extended Foreplay

So you’re both out, you’re having a good time…HERE is where foreplay begins. I know the general consensus is that guys aren’t into foreplay, but dammit, they really should be. I think great sex is just as much in the mind as it is in the pants. So the sooner you can start tooling with the mind, the better it’s going to be later. Here’s where some of the teasing is going to come into play. Maybe you’re in the back of a cab…go ahead push the boundaries a little. Or, who knows, it could be just the two of you driving back together…start talking about it. We’re going with some power of persuasion stuff here.


Sure, you can pass. Go right ahead.

Ya know how sometimes, you can be hanging out with friends and then someone is like, “damn, I’m really thirsty.” And even though you weren’t thirsty before, all the sudden it turns into, “wow, yeah, I really need to get something to drink too.” Boom! Sex talk. Capitalized. See how I strung that shit together right there, that’s what we’re doing. Make him thirsty. Any guy can have sex after a couple quick little brushes against Gandalf and the two Balrogs, but again, we’re looking for special.

#5) Let’s Get Physical

Now you’re back home, or wherever. You’ve been talking about it, made a couple brushes past it, now what? I say here’s where the “special” part comes in. My personal advice, give him a massage.

Shrek Peel Onion Layers

Treat the clothes like an ogre. Peel back the layers slowly, each one is important.

Seriously, who doesn’t love a good rub down. Especially from your significant other. But you can’t jump right into a “get naked and lay down”. I mean you can, you’re taking away from some of the fun. Start peeling back the layers like an ogre, one at a time. First the shirt comes off, then the pants, then you’re teasing around whatever Scooby Doo boxers he might be wearing that night. (Oh c’mon, like YOU don’t own a pair too?!) I’d say the most important part here, is take your time. Bust out some massage oil, lotion, lube…something. Straight dry skin, on dry skin only feels good for so long before it just starts get red and chaffing.

The cool part about this, is that in this kind of massage situation, you can go anywhere you want to. You usually have to pay extra for that kind of action at a regular massage place. So in this case, you’re giving him something he can’t really get anywhere else. And here is where you turn up the teasing. Go slow around the area…maybe touch every where else BUT there. Take it slow and make him really want it. Especially since when you really want something, feels so much better when you finally get it.

#6) Video Tape It

Why not, right?!

Well… for some men, their birthday seems to be the only hyped sex day in the whole year. Seriously, getting presents on your birthday is pretty rad, then throwing in some party sex? Handled!

In my opinion you want to make it as personal as possible, that way he really knows you put a lot of thought and time into it.  To prepare, three small trips are needed- grocery store, Studio 21 (Sex Store), and Victoria Secret 😉

Plan of Attack

Start by booking a hotel room for the night- be sure the room includes hot tub/jacuzzi, plenty of mirrors, and a kick ass shower (ideal if or when the bed gets boring…if ya know what I mean:) Plan to go a little early to the hotel room and personalize it- (this is where the grocery store comes in) you can make a trail with his fav candy or chocolates leading to the bed, put champagne on ice, and make a sexy playlist of songs (if you have a iHome to play music). Make sure to stock up on snacks and H2O….hunger and dehydration can be the ultimate party foul! Oh…and dont forget the strawberries and whipped cream…nothing is sexier than eating and playing with food in the bedroom!

After prepping the room, its your time to get fancy (this is where Victoria Secret becomes your BFF). Hopefully you picked out a sexy outfit that will get your boyfriend’s non-stop attention, and some other things he will appreciate too (Studio 21). If  your drawing a blank when Studio 21 comes to mind, think of things that would get him hot to trot (ie; sex toys and sex games- I highly recommend The Karma Sutra Positions Book). This book keeps the levels at all-time highs…literally!

Some ideas for fun party time

An option is to custom blend a position for your boyfriend in the same way you custom blend a perfume. Ask him what view of you he most enjoys during sex. Where would he like his hands…and your hands? Does he get dizzy when he’s upside down, etc. Then, whip out that magical red book (Karma Sutra). You can even create your own sex position and name it! Or, with the sexy playlist of songs you can give him a hot  lap or chair dance, that way your outfit lets him know Victoria isn’t a secret anymore! Now, theres a  reason why you booked this room with the fantastical hot tub/jaczucci, mirrors, and a tasteful shower….I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. Take advantage, and use you imagination…role playing is always a party pleaser!!!

***A few days before his birthday tell him you guys are going to dinner at a great place. That way he’ll be completely thrown off with a SURPRISE ATTACK!  Then, tell him to meet you at the hotel’s address, but keep it mucho discreet- it gives a mysterious and intriguing kind of feel. In a super sexy voice say something like, “Hey____, just listen and dont talk. If you want your birthday present meet me at this address(insert hotels address) . Be there at _____(insert time)! Cant wait to give IT to you***

Good luck and don’t forget to use condoms!!! Cheers!